The Tear I Shall Not Shed

For a heart so big
That a body could not shell,
Only tears of joy
From my eyes have fell.

For the warmth and love
That was his gift to all
No tear of pain
From my cheek will fall.

His smile filled our hearts
His laughter our ears,
For Paul, our Happiness
Should be our only tears.

-For Paul Clark Canova R.I.P

The Tax Man Cometh

All my working life, I have looked forward to tax season, it meant free money. While I knew it wasn't really free, and that it was technically my money to start with, it was unplanned income, like finding a $5 bill in the pocket of your jeans on laundry day... only bigger. Some paperwork involved, but once you knew how much you were getting back, your mind starts racing with ideas for spending it, like the few weeks before Christmas, excited at the new toys you're going to have.

So this year, all that was found in my jeans was an I.O.U. and nothing in my stocking but lumps of coal. My joy of the refund was yanked out from under me. Memories of childhood beliefs being ripped away came crashing through my head. "What?!? There's no Tooth Fairy? NO Santa?!? NO NINJA TURTLES?!?!?!" I felt betrayed and lost, hating that I had to accept this reality. And listening to others that have had to walk this road already, they attempt to feed me words of encouragement and comfort. In short summed up as "Tis better to give than to receive."

And I guess this applies, I mean, my having to write a check to the IRS this year is physical proof of my '08 fiscal triumph, right? It means I have reached a point in my career where my salary apparently offends Uncle Sam so he wants recompense. I have accepted this fate, and rather than mourn the loss of my old friend. Instead, tonight, I shall throw him a wake, a celebration of the passing of a long and loyal friend.

Revelation vs. Revolution

Watch First.

Inspiration to start writing again comes in many different forms. My recent bout came in the form of sheer confusion. This video message was forwarded to me, and after reviewing the previous senders, I found that all were, to my knowledge, Christian. And after researching the video, I found many supporting Christian organizations, and individuals.

Define: Christian
-Following the teachings or manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus Christ.

So I sat and wondered, if Jesus Christ was alive today, how many of these Christians, supporting and forwarding this message, would have been as quick to send it to Jesus as they did to others.

Additionally I started thinking how Jesus would handle these types of situations, and pictured scenes in my head.  Now I do not consider myself a connoisseur of Christianity, so please correct me if any of the following scenes seem flawed in any way.

Scene 1:
Jesus sits at a desk. Bills laid out before him. Reading one, He is suddenly outraged to see it is multi-lingual. He reaches for a fat, red marker and writes, HEBREW ONLY!!! across the bill and packages it up to send it back, unpaid.

Scene 2:

Jesus stands at the US-Mexico border.  He is clad in army fatigues and totes an automatic assualt rifle.  Immigrants approach in an attempt to cross into the US in search of a better life.  Jesus with his hand outstreached, yells, "HALT!  You are not allowed in here, we can't help you, we are over burdoned as it is.  Maybe there is some room in a stable somewhere in your country, go raise your family there, but we can't allow you in here."

Scene 3:

Jesus stands in a U.N. meeting.  Surrounded by the dignitaries of the world.  Jesus has the floor.

Jesus: (in an angry tone)"Again you have voted against me Egypt, you do so 80% of the time!  I have decided that I will no longer provide you, your country, or its people with financial aide.  They can starve for all I care.  And this goes for all the rest of you.  I am done helping you, I am keeping my wealth."

Thus the source of my confusion.

Why is it, beliefs held by an athiest like myself, seem more "Christ Like" than those held by these Christians?  Am I wrong?

I leave you with a quote from the Founding Father that apparently was depicted in the video.

"The world is my country; to do good my religion."  -Thomas Paine

Really?!?

This is why!

There is a certain level of satisfaction and relief to hear someone articulate your ideas and thoughts so closely that you need not try and reproduce them yourself. Many times you will be presented with approximates and "mostly's", but it is a rare occasion when you find yourself saying, "I could not have said it better myself", and truly mean it. I was presented with this today. So if anyone questions my motives for being supportive of this cause, I hope this provides the answers.

I simply ask that you watch this, whether you agree with it or not. And please don't focus on who is speaking or what his motives are... Listen to the message.

Happiness in Three Words

So yesterday morning I received a text from a friend asking, "What makes you the happiest? In three words." I actually spent a good deal of time thinking about the answer to this question. To which my brain produced a random smattering of cliché responses... Family and friends, to be loved, that I'm alive... etc, etc, etc. It got a little more specific when it gave me answers like, Hawaiian Beach house or Traveling the world. Also I was in the middle of watching one of my favorite series and so humorously the answer, "Dr. Gregory House", came to mind (I love that show).

So to help my brainstorming of ideas, I started thinking about my friends, and what they would respond with... World of Warcraft... Puppies ina box... Little Big Planet... PS3... religion free society... PHD... and many more.

Not being satisfied with any answers presented thus far, it finally dawned on me. So I answered...

"I don't know"

(Moment of Zen in 3... 2... 1...)
Now, I am not saying that I don't know the answer to the question, I am saying that "I don't know" IS the answer to the question. Think about the power behind such a simple statement. Numerous emotional responses can be contributed to these three little words. Happiness, confusion, anger, frustration, excitement, determination, etc.

But this blog is about Happiness.

So how does "I don't know" create happiness? Its the anticipation that is created. Example: "I don't know" what I'm getting for Christmas. If you knew already, would you really be as happy opening it? Same when some one tells you they have a surprise for you. If they just told you what it was, would the impact of the event be as satisfying? On a deeper note, "I don't know" when I am going to die. If you knew the answer to that, would you really be as happy with life? A few others to digest... "I don't know" who I will marry... "I don't know" how many kids I will have... "I don't know" (for sure) what tomorrow brings, "I don't know" what I'm having for lunch (ok, that one was for the happiness of my stomach).

So my answer to this question simply is, I don't know. And that is what makes me happiest. The fact that I DON'T know. If I knew what one thing (or three) made me the happiest, what would push me to find more things that qualify? What keeps those things from changing, ending, or being taken away?

So a constant pursuit of what "I don't know"... That is what makes me the happiest, in three words.



P.S. I know I posted previously that I don't like to solicit comments, but seeing as though my shameless attempt had no impact on that post, I'm doing it again.

This was such a great thought provoking question presented to me, that I wanted to share the experience.

What makes you the happiest? In three words.

It can be three different things or a three word phrase. Oh, and there is an "anonymous" option when posting, for those who's answer is "my personal privacy".